Buy Pee-Wee's Beach Cruiser on eBay and Complete Your Descent into the Abyss of Insanity

Just waiting to wreck somebody's marriage.

Pee-Wee’s beach cruiser from Peewee’s Big Adventure is currently for sale on eBay. 

The seller claims to be selling it because his family is getting bigger and he evidently needs the money. To me, that’s just a nice way of saying “I’d like for my wife to let me have sex with her again.”

While I don't have the thousands of dollars to shell out for it, I have paid top dollar for plenty of other Pee-Wee's Playhouse memorabilia:

• Cowboy Curtis’s bottle of Jheri Curl - $230
• Miss Yvonne’s botox syringes - $75
• Dirty Dog, Cool Cat and Chicky Baby’s heroin supply – $1,230
• Jambi’s running shoes – Free, since he doesn’t have feet.
• The King of Cartoon’s nipple clamps – I had to do unspeakable things to get them.